its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
