I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize