i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
