No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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