I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
