He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
