a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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