yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
