I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize