Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
