there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
