I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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