Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
