I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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