she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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