She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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