if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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