You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
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Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize