Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
