She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Someone shattered a urinal.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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