soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I wear drunk well.
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