Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
