it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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