I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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