I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
