rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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