these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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