i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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