The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
