so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
