Umm I'm too high to move.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
