Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
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I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
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jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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