A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I need to calm my uterus...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
