the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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