Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
