thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
