I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
