I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
