I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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