It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
