Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
