You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
