im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize