I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
