Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
