Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
