Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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