Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
