yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
