I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
