I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
