We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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