party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
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There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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