Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
