hotel room ftw
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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