I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
