ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
