wat bout pragnant strippers??
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
