I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
