Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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