Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.

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(713): View more from Texas

She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?

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(630): View more from Illinois

Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.

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