My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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