Buhtt sex?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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