i don't plan on having that self control this summer
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
