singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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